December 16, 2018, 10:21:12 AM
Lets Chat Love
Register An AccountLogin

Author Topic: I don't know what to do anymore 😭

October 26, 2018, 04:54:20 PM
Read 152 times

Panicplan



I love him so much but lately I haven't been so happy. My boyfriend and I met online. He were friends for a few months and then i started falling in love with him. He lives in California and I live in Ontario Canada. When we actually started dating I went and met him in person for the first time in January this year. It was the best trip of my life. He was so perfect. He treated me right. Then I went again to see him in March and that trip was a little more rocky. He doesn't have alot of money and at that time i didn't have a job. So he was trying to pay for mostly everything which made him stressed and that made us fight a little but nothing crazy. I had a trip planned for August so I could be with him for my birthday. But a few weeks before my trip we had a really bad fight. He said some really mean things to me that hurt me so much that if we didn't have that tripped planned and paid for I would have probably broken up with him. But I forgave him just so I could go back to California to see if he treats me differently. I made everything perfect for this trip. I made it so he didnt have to pay for hardly anything. I didn't want him to stress about money. I just wanted to test him and see if he goes back to the way he was when we first started dating. That trip was so incredible! He was amazing and totally changed my mind. It's like I fell even more in love with him. But I gave him money so he could go get his passport because he is supposed to come here in January for his birthday this time. I haven't really been all that happy lately because I gave him the money but he kinda just brushes it off when I ask him when he is going to go apply for his passport. He literally has no reason why he can't go get it now. He has the money he has some weekdays off to go to the office. But I asked him again and he just flipped on me. He said I'm not happy with my life. I'm living pay check to pay check. I said to him that i wanted to help him but he said no he doesn't want to be a charity case. He wants go do it on his own and he doesn't want my money to get him to come here. He just gave up and said he wanted to go to sleep. but I told him I don't want him to go to sleep upset. So I tried talking about my day to see if that would take his mind off of it. But I ran out of things to say so it was just quiet for a while until I said hello and he answered and I said are you happy now ? He said I'm not happy about anything. Which upset me so I asked him if I make him happy and I swear I heard him say I don't know. So I broke down crying and he asked me why I'm crying and I said because you just said I don't make you happy. He then said I didn't say that but i swear i heard him say it. He then said you always make everything about you. So I went back at him and said I literally do everything I can do him. Then he just said I'm going to sleep and hung up. He always does that when we fight he just cuts me off until the next afternoon/night. Normally I would try calling him back but this time I really didn't want to talk to him anymore. I really don't know what to do I love him so much but I'm not fully happy either.

October 28, 2018, 09:04:32 PM
Reply #1

missg



I love him so much but lately I haven't been so happy. My boyfriend and I met online. He were friends for a few months and then i started falling in love with him. He lives in California and I live in Ontario Canada. When we actually started dating I went and met him in person for the first time in January this year. It was the best trip of my life. He was so perfect. He treated me right. Then I went again to see him in March and that trip was a little more rocky. He doesn't have alot of money and at that time i didn't have a job. So he was trying to pay for mostly everything which made him stressed and that made us fight a little but nothing crazy. I had a trip planned for August so I could be with him for my birthday. But a few weeks before my trip we had a really bad fight. He said some really mean things to me that hurt me so much that if we didn't have that tripped planned and paid for I would have probably broken up with him. But I forgave him just so I could go back to California to see if he treats me differently. I made everything perfect for this trip. I made it so he didnt have to pay for hardly anything. I didn't want him to stress about money. I just wanted to test him and see if he goes back to the way he was when we first started dating. That trip was so incredible! He was amazing and totally changed my mind. It's like I fell even more in love with him. But I gave him money so he could go get his passport because he is supposed to come here in January for his birthday this time. I haven't really been all that happy lately because I gave him the money but he kinda just brushes it off when I ask him when he is going to go apply for his passport. He literally has no reason why he can't go get it now. He has the money he has some weekdays off to go to the office. But I asked him again and he just flipped on me. He said I'm not happy with my life. I'm living pay check to pay check. I said to him that i wanted to help him but he said no he doesn't want to be a charity case. He wants go do it on his own and he doesn't want my money to get him to come here. He just gave up and said he wanted to go to sleep. but I told him I don't want him to go to sleep upset. So I tried talking about my day to see if that would take his mind off of it. But I ran out of things to say so it was just quiet for a while until I said hello and he answered and I said are you happy now ? He said I'm not happy about anything. Which upset me so I asked him if I make him happy and I swear I heard him say I don't know. So I broke down crying and he asked me why I'm crying and I said because you just said I don't make you happy. He then said I didn't say that but i swear i heard him say it. He then said you always make everything about you. So I went back at him and said I literally do everything I can do him. Then he just said I'm going to sleep and hung up. He always does that when we fight he just cuts me off until the next afternoon/night. Normally I would try calling him back but this time I really didn't want to talk to him anymore. I really don't know what to do I love him so much but I'm not fully happy either.

it's a difficult one especially as you live so far apart, it's been a couple days since you posted but do you have an update on the situation? does he still seem to cut you off?

is this something that ur willing to continue pursuing and fighting for even though you aren't completely happy?

@Panicplan

November 18, 2018, 11:17:08 PM
Reply #2

dragon_warrior


I understand it's a difficult situation and honestly, I'm going through something similar and being the guy on the other end, here's my perspective.

I don't have a lot of money either and my girlfriend and me live close to each other. I'm in my late 20s but doing a post graduate at the university. I love my girlfriend but sometimes it feels like she wants to take control of my life. I hate losing my freedom (and at the cost of sounding sexist, I think a lot of men hate losing their freedom too). I think your boyfriend feels cornered and suffocated.

Give him space, give him a chance to see sense and appreciate your value in his life. Let him know what he will be missing out on if you were no longer with him. Everytime I have a huge fight with my girlfriend, I want to breakup immediately. But I let myself cool down and then think rationally. I try to imagine life without her and then it suddenly dawns on me that I want her in my life. and I forgive her after that and move on.

Give your man time to think and breathe. Most importantly, leave him be for sometime and give him the freedom he needs. If he truly loves you, he will come back to you and will do anything it takes to come see you. If he doesn't love you, you know the breakup just saved you more weeks of dreadful stress and a heartbreak later on.

Hope this helped :)

November 19, 2018, 04:39:45 AM
Reply #3

Gentle Sponge


When you find who you're truly meant to be with, you will be beyond happy. Elated and ecstatic. I think its important that you both talk it out and break up. If you arent happy, and especially if you both arent happy, the best thing to do is let each other go, Happiness will find you.

December 05, 2018, 12:53:44 AM
Reply #4

ayyy1234


Agreed with the other ppl

 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
8 Replies
532 Views
Last post August 05, 2018, 03:40:02 PM
by QueenFarLou
16 Replies
583 Views
Last post September 05, 2018, 08:24:47 PM
by Staff
4 Replies
184 Views
Last post August 26, 2018, 05:31:48 PM
by jennyfermanuel
4 Replies
141 Views
Last post September 05, 2018, 08:26:19 PM
by Staff
9 Replies
283 Views
Last post November 23, 2018, 08:46:49 AM
by KMurphy96