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Author Topic: I don't know what to do! Please help

March 02, 2019, 12:03:30 PM
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To quickly summarize,

I am in college and I live on campus. 6 months ago I met this girl on my hall and I started liking her a lot after a few weeks of knowing her. She had a boyfriend at the time but they broke up around 3 months ago. They were in a 2 year long-distance relationship. When they were dating I confessed to her that I liked her and everything was fine. Once they broke up, I waited a couple of weeks and then we got pretty intimate for about 2-3 weeks. I could tell even when she had a boyfriend that she liked me. She would constantly fall asleep in my bed while we would be hanging out (even when she had a boyfriend!).

We then had a month long break because of Christmas and through that time, she was being super flirty and we were texting/snapchatting every day. She would send me texts like "I miss you so much" and "you're soo cute". When we got back from break I noticed she seemed to have lost some interest. I talked with her about it and she said she doesn't want to date anyone right now. I told her I respected her decision and since we have been friends. I truly love this girl for who she is and it's tough because we have talked before about getting into a relationship with each other and she said she is scared because she doesn't want to mess our friendship up.

The past few weeks have been great because we have been just hanging out like normal without being all intimate and flirty. Last week she went out and had been drinking and was texting me saying stuff like, "are you up?" and "will you be awake when I get home?" and I was awake when she got back and we ended up hooking up. We talked last night and she says that hooking up is not healthy at all for us and that she wants to stay friends. I know she likes me though because I get hints and it is just so hard to know what to do. I've thought about just completely cutting her off and telling he I can't continue being her friend but I feel like that will just be awkward since we are already good friends and we live like right next to each other.

Part of me feels like we had something special going on over Christmas break because she clearly liked me and I now feel like I have been lead on a little bit. Any advice would be helpful since I currently don't know what to do. This girl means so much to me and I can't imagine removing her completely from my life.

March 02, 2019, 11:04:02 PM
Reply #1


We can’t choose who we fall in love with, but we do have the power to let it get out of control or not. If she says she wants to be friends and says that she doesn’t want to date right now, listen to those things. She is point blank saying those things, but these “hints” that you’re refferring to are simply just your perspective of what she’s saying or doing. In my opinion, it would save you some heart ache if you didn’t cut her out of your life, but distanced yourself just enough to let that rush of love fade. Still be nice and talk, but don’t be so in awe of her. Channel your energy into something else until you can regain control to be around and hang out with her without having so much emotion. I wouldn’t suggest to keep pushing the envelope with her.. coming out of a long term relationship, being in college, and not looking for love isn’t something that screams security for your heart. Be smart, and remember... advice is just advice. Your decisions are your decisions. Don’t be ashamed if the one you make isn’t the popular one.
It’ll be okay:)