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Author Topic: I'm pretty sure that I love her, but how does she feel?

August 03, 2020, 08:34:15 PM
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Alright guys/gals, I'm new here, so please move this thread if it isn't in the correct section. I also apologize in advance for this strange and long-ish story. I'll start from the beginning because I want everyone to know my situation.

2015 - I go to a friends house (female) to help her with some things around her house. She had been a friend for a year or so. She had one of her female friends over with her, also helping her around the house. When I first seen this woman, it was one of those moments that you only see in movies. I instantly had some kind of attraction towards her. She is very beautiful, but it wasn't even that. I really cant explain it. ANYWAYS, her and I began to talk from that day forward and ended up hanging out everyday for about a month. During this time, I don't even know if you would call it "dating", but we were together every day and were having intercourse. The feelings I had for her were insane, but she was a little held back on expressing her feelings with me. She never said that she loved me, but she would say things like "I never want you to leave, I want to be with you forever" those kinds of things.

Here is where the story gets a little crazy? -

A month after meeting said woman and hanging out with her, I go to prison. I was mixed up with a lot of bad people and doing bad things. I was 21 and didn't really know/care about life at that time. She ended up getting arrested with me, but was later released with no charges because she had never did anything wrong. I heard from her 1 time after that until recently....

I spent 5 years in prison and changed my life completely. I now have a lot of good things going for me. I have a job, car, house, etc... but even though I was gone for 5 years and said woman hadn't reached out to me in several years, I still couldn't get over the feelings that I had for her. They slightly died down a little bit, but there was still something there, so I added her on Facebook. We instantly started talking, reminiscing about the past. During the 5 years I was gone, she had a son and is currently pregnant with another son. She is currently in a relationship with someone, but they have broken up several times since I got out of prison. He constantly cheats on her, but she keeps going back. I went to see her for about an hour or so when we first started talking again, but there really wasn't too much that happened. After that hangout session, I spoke to her about the feelings that I had for her. I explained that I still did have the feelings for her and wondered if there ever was a chance for anything to happen between us, relationship wise. Her response was one of nightmares of course, the whole "you're a great friend and always have been", but she never really said a firm no and she is of course in a relationship with someone else, even though they have been having problems.

Flash forward to today. She texts me at 8:00AM when I have just started working. She asks if I will come over to see her new apartment. I tell her that I wouldn't be able to come until later in the day because I was working and what not. Keep in mind that I recently got out of prison and still am a little skiddish around random people, so I tell her that I don't want to come over if there is going to be other people there besides her and her son. She says there wont be anybody there.

2:00PM rolls around and I head her way. I pick up some drinks for her son because she said he didn't have anything at the house to drink. Once I get there, we hangout on the couch and talk a little here and there while I play with her son. During this time she slowly inches closer and closer to where I am sitting and occasionally touches my leg for a couple seconds or so, but nothing happens that is obvious flirtation.

3:15PM or so, she tells me that her boyfriend is coming over.. I thought nobody was coming over? I didn't express my concerns, I just simply said alright I am going to find a ride and leave. I tell her that I don't have a ride and will just walk to the gas station and wait until I find one because I didn't want to be around her boyfriend. Not that I don't want to, I just don't like being around people I don't know quite yet. I tell her bye, she barely says anything to me, but tells her son to tell me bye.

I eventually get a ride, but after I left, she hasn't texted me or anything to ask if I made it home or anything like that. Could be because she is trying to hide talking to me from her boyfriend, or it could be because she just doesn't care.

My question is, is there a way to find out what her real feelings are for me? There has to be something there for her to invite me over after I expressed how I felt and all of that. If she expresses to me that she just wants to be friends, how do I tell her that I can't just be friends with her because of the feelings that I have? I mean, eventually I will get over it I am sure, I'm not a stalker creep or anything like that. I will eventually be able to be her friend. But if she expressed that, I wouldn't want to talk to her for a while because I want the feelings to go away before I start talking to her again.

More info, each time she breaks up with her boyfriend, she texts me about it.
Her and I are almost exactly alike. Same personality, same music taste, same personal beliefs, same movie taste, same food, same goals, etc... It's quite strange really.

Any help is appreciated and once again I apologize for my strange post. I hope I don't seem weird to everyone ;)


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