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Author Topic: Please I need help and I'm waiting for days for my answer

October 29, 2018, 11:05:56 PM
Read 222 times

ClouldM


 I met him first at my new job, from the first time there was something spical. He was different with me, some times he like to be close when we sit together and whenever I show interest he became different but when I act the same and ignore him, he tried to be close again! He confused me a lot. There was a lot of deep eye contacts with him, his pupils grew bigger when he was with me. when he sat next to me, he tired to hide his breath from me! he also touched his hair and face a lot when I'm around him. His tone become different with me and he barely sollow his saliva. He can't even stabilizes in his chair when I'm with him. I also watch his eyes when he looks in every details of my clothes hands or any thing about me! He likes to say some funny comments when I do something funny! He also sometimes acts like fool when I'm with him . Also, whenever something happened between us, he turned on loud music and sit alone working. He even talked about his previous relationships and when I asked him if he is married and asked me if I can divorce in my country!
My problem is that when I knew that he got to travel for 2 or one month then come back again but not working with me, I decided to make the first step before I lose him. I did so but never said that I love him, at the bigining he was soft with me and open to talk to me secretly on whatsapp but when I asked him if I'm not the only one who feel like that, he refused to tell me and said too many things like I'm married and he can't do that or like he can't do relationships with staff! Or whatspp is an option but it is not what he is looking for! And he tired to ask me many time what I'm looking for from him but I didn't gave him a clear answer coz I just have that strong feelings and I'm confused what should I do. I even asked him to met me and kiss him on his cheek. Then I kissed him two times quikly before the day he left, the last one he told me to stop! And every time I kissed him he smiled and blushed!
Yesterday I tried to text him again and I was honest, told him that he know nothing about my life and my deppressed and sadness for years and I don't want even to talk about it . And I asked to please not judged me coz I'm not that kind of person and what I'm doing is wrong but I know its right in my heart and I want to follow it coz I don't want to rejert later if I do nothing. I also asked if he want my pic he said he still remeber me! Every time I asked him to say if I'm not the only one who has feelings, he don't give me a clear answer or deny it! He just say this is not the point! I also told him that I'm not playing and I know that what he is saying is not what he wants and his eyes revels it but he didn't deny it! He just be sorry if he give me the wrong impression! Or any hope! And that he can't do what it makes him feel wrong. And playing with me on things that he consider important is not something he want to do. I told him I feel like I have been broken after I was feeling alive. I told him I will try to stop and promise if just be honest but he didn't ,then I told him to be save and take care of himself and even if I miss him I'll try to control myself and said bye to each other and he wish my life become better! I'm married yeah but actually since the honeymoon I was unhappy and got a lot of problems with my husband and I tried to divorced many times! I just want to know if he loves me or not and what he is thinking of? Did pushed me away coz I'm married? Please I need help I'm really broken. I never felt these stronge emotions before. What should I do? If he just be open and let me know his feelings I would do something about my marrige.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2018, 08:18:03 PM by ClouldM »

October 30, 2018, 12:51:55 PM
Reply #1

missg


I met him first at my new job, from the first time there was something spical. He was different with me, some times he like to be close when we sit together and whenever I show interest he became different but when I act the same and ignore him, he tried to be close again! He confused me a lot. There was a lot of deep eye contacts with him, his pupils grew bigger when he was with me. when he sat next to me, he tired to hide his breath from me! he also touched his hair and face a lot when I'm around him. His tone become different with me and he barely sollow his saliva. He can't even stabilizes in his chair when I'm with him. I also watch his eyes when he looks in every details of my clothes hands or any thing about me! He likes to say some funny comments when I do something funny! He also sometimes acts like fool when I'm with him . Also, whenever something happened between us, he turned on loud music and sit alone working. He even talked about his previous relationships and when I asked him if he is married and asked me if I can divorce in my country!
My problem is that when I knew that he got to travel for 2 or one month then come back again but not working with me, I decided to make the first step before I lose him. I did so but never said that I love him, at the bigining he was soft with me and open to talk to me secretly on whatsapp but when I asked him if I'm not the only one who feel like that, he refused to tell me and said too many things like I'm married and he can't do that or like he can't do relationships with staff! Or whatspp is an option but it is not what he is looking for! And he tired to ask me many time what I'm looking for from him but I didn't gave him a clear answer coz I just have that strong feelings and I'm confused what should I do. I even asked him to met me and kiss him on his cheek. Then I kissed him two times quikly before the day he left, the last one he told me to stop! And every time I kissed him he smiled and blushed!
Yesterday I tried to text him again and I was honest, told him that he know nothing about my life and my deppressed and sadness for years and I don't want even to talk about it . And I asked to please not judged me coz I'm not that kind of person and what I'm doing is wrong but I know its right in my heart and I want to follow it coz I don't want to rejert later if I do nothing. I also asked if he want my pic he said he still remeber me! Every time I asked him to say if I'm not the only one who has feelings, he don't give me a clear answer or deny it! He just say this is not the point! I also told him that I'm not playing and I know that what he is saying is not what he wants and his eyes revels it but he didn't deny it! He just be sorry if he give me the wrong impression! Or any hope! And that he can't do what it makes him feel wrong. And playing with me on things that he consider important is not something he want to do. I told him I feel like I have been broken after I was feeling alive. I told him I will try to stop and promise if just be honest but he didn't ,then I told him to be save and take care of himself and even if I miss him I'll try to control myself and said bye to each other and he wish my life become better! I'm married yeah but actually since the honeymoon I was unhappy and got a lot of problems with my husband and I tried to divorced many times! I just want to know if he loves me or not and what he is thinking of? Did pushed me away coz I'm married? Please I need help I'm really broken. I never felt these stronge emotions before. What should I do? If he just be open and let me know his feelings I would do something about my marrige.

He sounds very nervous but by the way you're describing it, i think he does like you.

But you need to think very carefully about what you're doing ,especially as you are married and that you work with this person.

from my experience relationships at work can work, but not in the long-term, if you plan to stay at your place of work for a while then i wouldn't risk it. It could cause trouble i nthe work palce and more important, trouble in your relationship.

in fact, if you have kissed that man then clearly your marriage isn't working and you should probably consider divorce (if i am going to be strictly honest!)

October 31, 2018, 10:18:45 AM
Reply #2

ClouldM



[/quote]

He sounds very nervous but by the way you're describing it, i think he does like you.

But you need to think very carefully about what you're doing ,especially as you are married and that you work with this person.

from my experience relationships at work can work, but not in the long-term, if you plan to stay at your place of work for a while then i wouldn't risk it. It could cause trouble i nthe work palce and more important, trouble in your relationship.

in fact, if you have kissed that man then clearly your marriage isn't working and you should probably consider divorce (if i am going to be strictly honest!)
[/quote]

Actually l'm thinking of divorce these days a lot coz things with my husband is geting worse every day and my heart is already with someone else. I just don't know how to make this move espically when turn all of it into drama and stressed me awfully.

October 31, 2018, 10:57:44 AM
Reply #3

goodevening


Sorry to hear your frustrations, but yes I agree with missg, you don't sound like you're very happy in your relationship with your husband, but you need to have a good ol' think about whether you would like to continue it. Divorce is a serious act and will take into consideration your financial circumstances, children and everything that you both own. I'm sure you know all of this already but please do make the right choice and  don't rush into this, think carefully abut the advantages and disadvantages and would could potentially happen after the divorce.

Is this guy you're speaking to a serious person that you could be in a relationship with? How long have you known him? Is he with anyone? Is he all-ok with you divorcing your husband? (he may have concerns that you may cheat on him, too)

Sometimes the grass isn't greener on the other side, and you clearly married your husband for a reason, if things aren't going well you need to give it  a good try before abandoning it. Try counselling, speaking to him and try to improve your marriage. Once everything has been exhausted, then you should consider it.

October 31, 2018, 05:29:59 PM
Reply #4

ClouldM


Sorry to hear your frustrations, but yes I agree with missg, you don't sound like you're very happy in your relationship with your husband, but you need to have a good ol' think about whether you would like to continue it. Divorce is a serious act and will take into consideration your financial circumstances, children and everything that you both own. I'm sure you know all of this already but please do make the right choice and  don't rush into this, think carefully abut the advantages and disadvantages and would could potentially happen after the divorce.

Is this guy you're speaking to a serious person that you could be in a relationship with? How long have you known him? Is he with anyone? Is he all-ok with you divorcing your husband? (he may have concerns that you may cheat on him, too)

Sometimes the grass isn't greener on the other side, and you clearly married your husband for a reason, if things aren't going well you need to give it  a good try before abandoning it. Try counselling, speaking to him and try to improve your marriage. Once everything has been exhausted, then you should consider it.

Thanks for your respond.
I'm 26 years old and  have been married only for 2 years and I don't have any kids yet but I knew my hasband for years before we got married. He was cheating on me since I was with him and as a result I was always trying to find someone better than him but I was failed! Coz I always chose the wrong persons! Anyway when my marrige time approached I didn't really want to do it & I hesitated a lot but it just happened. After that I really had a bad times and nights coz he was treated me not in a good way and try to contact with girls again in second month of our marrige! Though I'm a beautiful and elegant and I treated him in a really good way as a husband a never think of cheating him!
I'm not trying to cheat on him & I'm not that kind of person coz I have conscience even if things is not good in my marriage. I just want to know if that man worth it if I divorce and what are all these feeling that I never felt before! Does he love me but afraid to ruin my marriage? Or he thinks about a serious relationship? Coz he said playing with you on things that he consider important is not something he want to do.

October 31, 2018, 05:36:44 PM
Reply #5

ClouldM


Sorry to hear your frustrations, but yes I agree with missg, you don't sound like you're very happy in your relationship with your husband, but you need to have a good ol' think about whether you would like to continue it. Divorce is a serious act and will take into consideration your financial circumstances, children and everything that you both own. I'm sure you know all of this already but please do make the right choice and  don't rush into this, think carefully abut the advantages and disadvantages and would could potentially happen after the divorce.

Is this guy you're speaking to a serious person that you could be in a relationship with? How long have you known him? Is he with anyone? Is he all-ok with you divorcing your husband? (he may have concerns that you may cheat on him, too)

Sometimes the grass isn't greener on the other side, and you clearly married your husband for a reason, if things aren't going well you need to give it  a good try before abandoning it. Try counselling, speaking to him and try to improve your marriage. Once everything has been exhausted, then you  should consider it.

If you don't mind can u tell me what to do or how he think and what all his actions were? Can u explain to me? U r a man like him so u can undresand and help me before I make any serious step.
Thanks

November 02, 2018, 10:40:27 AM
Reply #6

goodevening


Sorry to hear your frustrations, but yes I agree with missg, you don't sound like you're very happy in your relationship with your husband, but you need to have a good ol' think about whether you would like to continue it. Divorce is a serious act and will take into consideration your financial circumstances, children and everything that you both own. I'm sure you know all of this already but please do make the right choice and  don't rush into this, think carefully abut the advantages and disadvantages and would could potentially happen after the divorce.

Is this guy you're speaking to a serious person that you could be in a relationship with? How long have you known him? Is he with anyone? Is he all-ok with you divorcing your husband? (he may have concerns that you may cheat on him, too)

Sometimes the grass isn't greener on the other side, and you clearly married your husband for a reason, if things aren't going well you need to give it  a good try before abandoning it. Try counselling, speaking to him and try to improve your marriage. Once everything has been exhausted, then you  should consider it.

If you don't mind can u tell me what to do or how he think and what all his actions were? Can u explain to me? U r a man like him so u can undresand and help me before I make any serious step.
Thanks

First off I think it's unacceptable that he's been cheating on you, or has cheated on your in the past. I wouldn't ever let my partner cheat on me and get away with it, I would immediately terminate the relationship. However, in your case, you decided to pursue it and work on it. Fair play to you.

It really doesn't sound like you're happy though, and sometimes you need to take a step back in life and review the situation as it is. Are you happy in your relationship with your husband? Does he give you butterflies in your stomach or is every day a living hell because you are with someone that you don't trust?

Marriage is a serious thing and shouldn't be taken lightly, you are both legally bound to each other (financially and all the other bits that comes with a marriage). If you aren't happy you need to make a stand - otherwise you're going to be unhappy forever. He also can't be serious about the relationship if he cheated on you!

I can only go by what you're saying on this forum, but as he was messaging girls, two months after you both signed a legally binding agreement between the both of you. This demonstrates that he's an utter fool and very selfish.

November 12, 2018, 10:30:14 AM
Reply #7

imawreck


Sounds like it matters not unfortunately if you just for him or vise versa because your married u are capable of separation before doing what your doing and this thing with this other guy should b not even happening unless your separated or at least your husband is ok with r...basically finish up what you got with ur husband let this other thing go because if it were worth or as important as u and or your marriage should be bad times or not....then u would already be together with no questions and u would be divorced n emotionally ready to be with this guy...but sounds like he is pushing u away in kinda weird emotionally handicap way..I'd work on urself and ur marrieage problems spend less time on something that will go away once u regain or rectify what ur missing or lacking because of no resolve in ur current issues..that's my opinion n I could b wrong but I've found that people with problems such as myself always have the best logical advise because dealing with our own issues gets a little break from thought n that's why I think we all get a better handle on any situation in life after helping or communicating with others ..about whatever.  it puts things in perspective I think... where ordinarily keeping to one's  does not...and u may help someone else and that feels good..so good for you for reaching out this is my very first time but I know it's like at that point if I don't I will for sure lose my mind n not be okay .I'm going thru some big emotional issues n confusion..so good luck to u....n don't ever cheat it's not good at all!!!

 

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