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Author Topic: How to tell my bf I want to move out from his parent's home?

November 26, 2019, 09:04:57 AM
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denissaf


I'm pregnant and I live at my boyfriend's home with his family for almost one year. We are both in our early 20. The thing is he grew up in a village and I'm from a small town. He found a job there that pays better than most jobs in my town so whenever I try to bring the topic of moving together to my apartment  he brings the "not enough money" topic. And that life in city is expensive. But the thing is he also supports his family even when his dad works so he doesn't save any money even if he is there.

Now he is abroad and will come back in a few weeks and I live at my home until then. He still didn't gave up on his job at that village and his parents are extremely possesive,especially his mom and judge every step he takes in life.  She cries and wants us to live with her and will hardly let him leave the job.

I really don't know how to bring the topic of moving together to my bf because he is so short-tempered and would scream at me if I "stress" him.  I will give birth to my baby soon and there is no way that I will raise him in a village. I'm quite stressed about his reaction i dont want to live there anymore and he knows i dont like over there but still money are too important to him. It might be just an excuse? I'm super confused.

November 26, 2019, 10:30:13 AM
Reply #1
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Writermom82


I'm a numbers person, so I guess first step would be run some numbers for him.  Look up apartments currently listed for lease and what is covered and how they are priced. I'm guessing you are not in the US since you use the word village. Maybe find a co-worker or a friend who lives in that city you'd like to move to and ask what bills they have to pay each month.

Option 2 is to look at smaller cities outside the main city you are looking at and the cost of living there. That might be a great way to compromise. You'll be away from the parents and he won't be in the big city.

Also ask him if he'd rather spend the rest of his life with your and your baby or with his parents as a single guy? Tell him that you are excited to see what a fantastic Dad he will make to your child as you two work together to raise your child ON YOUR OWN.

Step1, run the numbers so you have facts to discuss, not "maybe"'s.
Step 2, build his confidence as a man who CAN take care of his family. Guys need lots of ego stroking, and right now it sounds like he Mom might be doing a bit more of it ;)

 

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