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Author Topic: How to get him to leave me???

January 28, 2019, 03:26:38 PM
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Onedeep85


Quick rundown of relationship:
 I have 3 children all 9+, he doesn't have any kids. We started a relationship 3 years ago. Been living together a year and a half. In the beginning he would drink all the time. Very erratic behaviours, drunk driving, and somewhat controlling. I eventually convinced him to stop drinking.

Over the last year, he started smoking pot (which i dont really have an issue with).  I just didnt want it in the house, smoked in the house, or around the kids.... Its like my requests dont phase him. He smokes in the bathroom (that the kids and I frequently use) We both pay bills, both have jobs. He doesn't help with any household work.
Not to mention over the last year or so I have become physically and sexually unattracted to him. 
Sometimes, I stay awake extra late just so I know he is good and asleep, before I crawl in bed....
Emotionally, I dont feel like I want this any more. He's not really a "bad guy"... Just not the guy for me??
How can I get him to break off the relationship, and leave???

January 28, 2019, 03:28:37 PM
Reply #1
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SarahLancaster


It depends.  What type of living arrangement do you have?  Apartment?  House?  Whose name is on the lease/mortgage?
"But the rain is full of ghosts tonight, that tap upon the glass and listen for reply."

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

January 28, 2019, 04:07:30 PM
Reply #2
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Onedeep85


Technically, the house and all bills are in my name.  I dont want to hurt him emotionally. The 1 time I broke things off, he got extremely emotional.... Possibly even a little suicidal. I do care about him as a person.... But everyone around can see that this relationship isnt working.
So I was hoping to find ways or things that would make him want to leave

January 28, 2019, 04:32:57 PM
Reply #3
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SarahLancaster


Listen, you're not responsible for his mental well being.  The most honorable thing to do would be to sit down with him and tell him that you no longer want to be in a relationship.  Be kind and non-confrontational.  Understand that he will use his 'suicidal' personality to guilt you into changing your mind.  Don't.  He sounds like he has addictive tendencies, and you don't want that kind of behavior around your impressionable children.  And his not honoring your request to smoke outside is a huge red flag that he is a self-centered dickhead.

Give him a date (maybe one month) and tell him that you'd like him to find another place to live.  Offer to help him financially with the move.

"But the rain is full of ghosts tonight, that tap upon the glass and listen for reply."

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

January 31, 2019, 04:08:13 PM
Reply #4
Offline

Amelie


Difficult situation but you should be strong. You have children so, first of all, think about them.
If these relations do not make you happier than what's the reason? You do everything alone, just having extra work with him. A man should make his woman happy. At least. he should try.
I had a somehow similar situation. My boyfriend was a good person. We dated for maybe 3 years and then got married. Everything was fine. Then he started smoking. I wasn't happy but still didn't manage to convince him to stop. Then we gave birth to our daughter. He had difficulties at work. I was too tired to be at home all the time. But always found time to talk to him, to ask about his day. I did my best to cheer him up. Nothing worked. He lost his job, started drinking too much, then drugs. Then he lost his job, of course. And yes, I tried to consult the doctor, tried to convince him to visit the psychologist. He disagreed. I've read thousands of articles such as on VapingDaily about marijuana and its side effects. Watched videos on YouTube. Then one day I stopped. I said ENOUGH. I was too tired of that.
I just broke up with him and make him leave us. As I want a better life for my daughter. I don't want her to have such a model of 'father'. Never regreted it.

 

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