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Author Topic: How do you know you're in love with someone??? I can't tell if I am?

January 01, 2020, 02:15:47 PM
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anxiousgirl


I know this question sounds really dumb and it's not like i've never exeperienced love but from what i've been able to figure out as i've gotten a bit older is that what i've experienced, albeit very intensely, was infatuation! My first love for example as an a-hole but I had very intense emotions for him, took me years to get over him etc. but we had nothing in common and nothing to talk about?? I can see that now, and therefore I am wondering if that this that i'm experiencing right now might instead be "real love" or if it's something else entirely.

I have this friend whom I friendzoned 2 years ago because I wasn't attracted to him. We also have a 3 hour distance between us and haven't met many times and everytime we have met (4 times so far) he's been very stiff and shy except the last time. He was then much more himself, relaxed and joking around but we also had serious talks too. I even thought he was kind of cute for the first time. Before then i'd always seen him in a somewhat negative light as he has a tendency to be a bit childish in his hobbies for example but lately, since that day we last met, it's instead shifted so I see how amazing he truly is and how much we have in common. He also always makes me happy to talk to, even from a distance. It's like his very positive, uplifting energy affects me and cheers me up.

He's had feelings for me, like I wrote I friendzoned him. Then half a year later I started questioning that decision so I asked him if he still has feelings for me and he said of course he does. We then came to the agreement to try and date after all to see how it goes but the timing was awful for both of us. We even stopped talking for 3 months after the date we went on in this timeframe and when I got back in touch he had gotten involved with a woman he'd known for far longer than me. That didn't work out though, she was only trying to use him, and in this time he briefly alluded to still having feelings for me and that it's a shame the timing for us had been so bad. That was around May last year. I didn't really respond much to it and since I didn't he's continued being respectful, referred to me as a "friend" and such.

I can't say for sure how I feel about him, but I do know that whenever I start seeing someone else and he starts expressing wanting serious commitment I come to think about this friend of mine and that if I get into a relationship I might lose him for good. Now, he's not the type who'd stop being my friend because I met someone, he'd be very happy for my sake, but what i'm afraid of is him then deciding to start dating and move on for good. He gets friendzoned a lot but that's because he tends to meet the wrong type of women that can't see what he's worth. He's truly an amazing guy with a heart of gold who'd do anything for those he care about and on top of that a genuienly good guy who still isn't afraid to stand up for himself when needed. If he meets someone who can see that the way I can she won't let him go that's for sure. No sane woman would. This fact makes me anxious to commit to anyone. And it's not because i'm afraid of losing his friendship or anything, I have a few other male friends who are also very sweet but I don't feel these things about them at all.

So based on this information... Does it sound like I could be in love with him? I honestly can't tell myself, plus after having gotten heartbroken so many times in the past i'm pretty numb to these types of feelings. I shut them out which makes it even harder to tell. I'm seeing him soon again and I guess if this is more than a friendship I oughta let him know how I feel asap maybe when we meet again. Before it's too late.

January 02, 2020, 01:32:03 PM
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anxiousgirl



 

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