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Author Topic: How do I stop relying on my boyfriend to make me happy?

August 03, 2019, 05:36:02 PM
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Lucy


Hi all,

I hope someone can help me. I am in 3years relationship with my boyfriend. He is very nice, intelligent, supportive and attractive. The problem is that I am very codependent parter. I constantly need attention, I need him to text me back, recently I started to be extremely jealous because he is hanging out with his new classmates (boys and girls). He is an expat living in foreign country and he had no family no friends here except me.

Being in the relationship with him feels like a roller-coaster ride. At one moment he is nice and attentive to me, which makes me extremely happy, but in split second my mood can go sooo down, because he decides to play a video game or do something different not including me. Another example is that I get mad at him even if he didn't do anything... I get mad or sad just because I am bored and in my head I convince myself that it is his fault.. That he needs to entertain me...

He has some hobbies like playing video games, technology and football. I don't have any hobbies and so over the time I tried to be more interested in his hobbies and started playing video games a lot myself. I mean I had hobbies and with ltos of friends when I was single long time ago, but as soon as I get in relationship I try to change and match the other person's habits, hobbies, interests and I sacrifice my own stuff just so I can spend time with the person.

My boyfriend was talking about this to me a lot. That I don't need to change for him. That I can be confident with who I am. That I don't need his approval and validation for everything.

But I just cannot overcome this. I put all the responsibilitty of my own happiness on him. I constantly feel abandoned by him, and I feel very lonely in the relationship unless he give me attention.

I need to stress out that we live together and we even work at the same company but even spending more than 10hrs a day with him does not seem enough for my sick mind.

Is there anyone who experienced this and how do you overcome it and become stronger? Sometimes I feel so beaten up and exhausted from the negative emotions I feel that I just want to6end it so I don't need to suffer.

 

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