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Author Topic: How do I get over him?

October 28, 2018, 01:44:55 PM
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nx2172


I met a guy through tinder and we talked and called eachother for 2 months before we finally met. When we met it seemed as though things really clicked between is.We continued to chat after out first date and he started sending me kiss emojis, Goodmorning/goodnight texts, he gave me a nickname and he told me that he liked me. We went on a few dates and we even ended up having sex on 2 of the dates. After all  that I thought we were really heading towards a potentially serious relationship.However, after the last time I saw him he became very distant, and barely ever texted me. Every time I asked him what was wrong, he’d just tell me he’s busy.This continued for about 6 weeks. I told him I missed him and he said “we’ve only seen eachother 2x?” which hurt. So then I confronted him about it via whatsapp (2 weeks ago) and he told me that he had a nice time with me, but that he never had any feelings for me whatsover. He then said “you’re a really great girl, I just cant give tou what you’re looking for.” I really liked him, and im having a really hard time moving on. I’ve tried talking to other guys to get my mind off of him, but nothing helps. I feel used and played.

October 28, 2018, 09:01:02 PM
Reply #1

missg


I met a guy through tinder and we talked and called eachother for 2 months before we finally met. When we met it seemed as though things really clicked between is.We continued to chat after out first date and he started sending me kiss emojis, Goodmorning/goodnight texts, he gave me a nickname and he told me that he liked me. We went on a few dates and we even ended up having sex on 2 of the dates. After all  that I thought we were really heading towards a potentially serious relationship.However, after the last time I saw him he became very distant, and barely ever texted me. Every time I asked him what was wrong, he’d just tell me he’s busy.This continued for about 6 weeks. I told him I missed him and he said “we’ve only seen eachother 2x?” which hurt. So then I confronted him about it via whatsapp (2 weeks ago) and he told me that he had a nice time with me, but that he never had any feelings for me whatsover. He then said “you’re a really great girl, I just cant give tou what you’re looking for.” I really liked him, and im having a really hard time moving on. I’ve tried talking to other guys to get my mind off of him, but nothing helps. I feel used and played.

i'm so sorry that this happened to you @nx2172 , i also have a few friends that didn't have a great experience with someone that they met on tinder either.

if i am going to be honest, if ur looking for a serious relationship i dont think tinder is the best place to look for that person. it's known to be a mess about / one night stand sort of platform.

that's such a shame that he isn't willing to take it further, by the sounds of it babe he wanted a bit of fun time i think, especially if he said what he did.

are there any other men that you're talking to / meeting up with? x

October 28, 2018, 11:16:22 PM
Reply #2

nx2172


@missg Thank you so much for replying, I really appreciate your kindness. At the moment im not talking/meeting up with any guys. Im still upset about what happened. I just cant stop thinking about him, which probably sounds dumb/weird. x

October 29, 2018, 05:09:31 AM
Reply #3

VeryHill86


Having your feelings go unreciprocated is probably one of the most painful things a person can experience. It goes without saying that the emotions involved in that experience seem unrelenting and unforgiving to the point they can manifest into actual physical pain. I may be a man but believe me when I say that I know exactly what you're going through. The only thing in the world you want is relief from the pain, but it's like the universe keeps dishing out things that remind you of him. You see his name. You hear a song. You walk past a guy wearing the same cologne he did, or some little trigger you encounter that provokes thoughts of him. It's pure torture, trust me I know. I have been both the victim and the offender. The best advice I can offer you is to find a healthy distraction to lighten the load a little bit. Don't feed into any feelings of inferiority towards yourself because those feelings will run away with you. Before you know it your self confidence is trashed and your self esteem is all but destroyed. I beat myself up for months after the woman I wanted to be with more than anything in the world completely ghosted on me. It was the worst thing I have ever had to experience and I kept feeding into those dreadful feelings until I completely forgot what it felt like to be happy. I don't want that for you, so do whatever it takes to brush it off. Realize that you're only experiencing a chemical reaction in your brain. This guy brought about a flood of oxytocin that works just like any addictive drug. What you're going through can be compared to withdrawal symptoms. Your brain needs time to rewire itself just like it does if you were trying to break a drug addiction. I know that sounds like a cold description of what your going through but getting over a broken heart is a process just like recovering from a drug addiction. It takes time and will power. I don't know if this has been useful to you but I sincerely hope it will be helpful to you in someway if even in some small way. Good luck to you.

October 29, 2018, 06:30:52 PM
Reply #4

missg


Having your feelings go unreciprocated is probably one of the most painful things a person can experience. It goes without saying that the emotions involved in that experience seem unrelenting and unforgiving to the point they can manifest into actual physical pain. I may be a man but believe me when I say that I know exactly what you're going through. The only thing in the world you want is relief from the pain, but it's like the universe keeps dishing out things that remind you of him. You see his name. You hear a song. You walk past a guy wearing the same cologne he did, or some little trigger you encounter that provokes thoughts of him. It's pure torture, trust me I know. I have been both the victim and the offender. The best advice I can offer you is to find a healthy distraction to lighten the load a little bit. Don't feed into any feelings of inferiority towards yourself because those feelings will run away with you. Before you know it your self confidence is trashed and your self esteem is all but destroyed. I beat myself up for months after the woman I wanted to be with more than anything in the world completely ghosted on me. It was the worst thing I have ever had to experience and I kept feeding into those dreadful feelings until I completely forgot what it felt like to be happy. I don't want that for you, so do whatever it takes to brush it off. Realize that you're only experiencing a chemical reaction in your brain. This guy brought about a flood of oxytocin that works just like any addictive drug. What you're going through can be compared to withdrawal symptoms. Your brain needs time to rewire itself just like it does if you were trying to break a drug addiction. I know that sounds like a cold description of what your going through but getting over a broken heart is a process just like recovering from a drug addiction. It takes time and will power. I don't know if this has been useful to you but I sincerely hope it will be helpful to you in someway if even in some small way. Good luck to you.

good response !

 

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