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Author Topic: Falling for an friend's ex

September 04, 2019, 05:38:36 AM
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Harbinger


I'm in my mid thirties. Never really been in a meaningful relationship for sometime now. Anyway, someone I consider Is a close friend I have known now for nearly a decade. We have had each other's backs. Well, about three years ago he divorced a girl he married out of highschool. Of course, when such things happen, people naturally take sides, but I always thought whatever happened between them was strictly between them. So I never had any animosity towards here. Hell, we even bumped into each other a social events and had great conversations. Well, eventually she started dating again. This relationship lasted nearly two years, but unfortunately things happened and she is single yet again. Well, recently, I had a social event to attend to and after a few people bailed on me, I reached out to her and she said yes. Things went exceedingly well. We both had a great time. Later that same week, she asked me out for some wine and dinner at a rather nice place. I offered to pay, but she refused. 50/50. Well, we keep in constant contact and well, I sort of feel this thing may shift. May progress. We're supposed to hangout this weekend, and well, I am really enjoying her company. I'm not exactly sure how I may react if this progresses further. I actually see something and feeling something with her where I haven't in a while. We just gel very well. I know lines will be drawn and I will lose friends, but I'm almost thinking that I need to start looking out for what is best for me.

September 20, 2019, 06:34:41 PM
Reply #1
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Confused giraffe


I wouldn't know how to advise you on this. Just give my personal opinion. . .
I would think about why they split up/how they split up, was it easy, was you're friend cut up about it?how did he react when she started dating previously.
Has your friend moved on? Where is he in his life? Is he happy or down in the dumps?
 If he's down in the dumps or it ended badly and he's still not dating,then he could be very annoyed about your interest in her. But if he has moved on and it was an amicable break up that didn't RIP his heart out, then you should be fine to casually bring her up. Mention that you've seen her here and there, mention the dinner. Mention that you're supposed to be hanging out again soon. See if he's cool with you guys hanging out first. . . If he's ok with that. .  .then ask how his feelings are toward her romantically now, how would he feel about you two hooking up.
Tell him sooner rather than later. There's nothing worse than being lied to or kept in the dark about things like that

 

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