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Author Topic: Dating with Herpes

January 14, 2020, 10:34:04 PM
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sambam4408


I found out this summer that I had genital herpes. I just started dating someone for the first time since then a few weeks ago, and it's starting to get serious. I haven't told him I have herpes yet. Of course we haven't had sex yet either, I'm not gonna be a crappy person and potentially expose him without him knowing the risk, but it is getting to the point where we would want to take that next step. Now I did freak out when I found out at first when found out I have herpes, but after learning more about it, and being prescribed anti-virals for flare ups, I realized it's not that bad, and it has a very little affect on my everyday life. I just get a little annoying itchy rash down there about once a month or two that last 2-3 days. I just hope explaining this to him doesn't freak him out and he thinks I'm a filthy person or something. I know herpes has that stigma to it. Does anyone have any advice on approaching this issue with someone you are dating? I would hate to have him stop wanting to see me because of this :( Also, is texting or face to face better? And am I worried more than I should be? 1 in 5 people have genital herpes, so am I just making it a bigger deal than it probably is?

January 16, 2020, 08:46:29 AM
Reply #1
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Blanket


I found out this summer that I had genital herpes. I just started dating someone for the first time since then a few weeks ago, and it's starting to get serious. I haven't told him I have herpes yet. Of course we haven't had sex yet either, I'm not gonna be a crappy person and potentially expose him without him knowing the risk, but it is getting to the point where we would want to take that next step. Now I did freak out when I found out at first when found out I have herpes, but after learning more about it, and being prescribed anti-virals for flare ups, I realized it's not that bad, and it has a very little affect on my everyday life. I just get a little annoying itchy rash down there about once a month or two that last 2-3 days. I just hope explaining this to him doesn't freak him out and he thinks I'm a filthy person or something. I know herpes has that stigma to it. Does anyone have any advice on approaching this issue with someone you are dating? I would hate to have him stop wanting to see me because of this :( Also, is texting or face to face better? And am I worried more than I should be? 1 in 5 people have genital herpes, so am I just making it a bigger deal than it probably is?

I think it's only fair to you and your partner that you disclose this information to him as soon as possible before the both of you get too invested in the relationship. It might hurt less that way. And I think it's a discussion that has to be made in person. There are non-verbal cues that cannot be seen on cam or with just chat. You'd know more about his reaction this way. I hope all goes well with you.

 

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