December 16, 2018, 11:11:22 AM
Lets Chat Love
Register An AccountLogin

Author Topic: Confused

December 01, 2018, 05:38:33 AM
Read 55 times

Donnao


I’m desperate. I wasn’t sure where to post this, but I’m after advice, male and female, about a situation I was in.

I’m a 38-year-old divorced lady who’s never really been great with men and relationships, plus I’m not the most confident person either.

About two years ago I decided I wanted to lose weight and get fit, so I joined my local gym. I ended up with a great Personal Trainer, a man, who was 14 years younger than me and we developed a relatively close and intense friendship.

Not long after we started training sessions, he broke up with his girlfriend because she cheated on him. As I lost weight and regained my confidence, our friendship grew. I admittedly had on and off feelings for him but never acted on them because I didn’t want to ruin the friendship and I wanted him as my Personal Trainer still.

He did a lot of nice things for me outside the gym like doing my gardening or driving me home when my car was at the mechanics. One night after a training session with him we sat and talked for three hours, and he even comforted me when I told him a few deeply personal things about my past. Last year, I had a very brief, casual encounter with a friend of his.

After I stopped seeing his mate, things between my PT and I became awkward. He’d always been curious about my life and asked questions, but now he started getting personal.

He asked me questions and said and did things that have left me confused still to this day. He asked me if I thought I was a good kisser or not and if I intended on sleeping with a guy (not his friend) I was going on a date with. He asked to see pictures of my ex-partner and ex-husband. He asked when it was I last slept with a guy. He’d make jokes about me having sex with potential dates while we were doing stretches at the gym.

During one training session, he poked me on the thigh during a workout with a long wooden balance pole when I didn’t work hard enough. He’d make remarks about me wearing a new sports bra despite me wearing a t-shirt over the top. He even told me how he liked having “rough but intimate sex.”

Towards the end of our training sessions last year, before Christmas, he met a girl from the UK on a working visa. He told me he didn’t know how old she was and that they were having casual sex and she’d call him up and abuse him when he didn’t drop everything to see her.

During the new year break, I went overseas for a holiday and when I came back it seemed like my PT and this girl were more serious than he said, according to what he put up on his social media accounts at least.

However, he rarely spoke to me about her except to say that she was just “some British chick” he was seeing and that she wanted to label the relationship when it was Facebook official.

After one training session with him at night time when we went for a run, his girlfriend was waiting at the gym for him. He behaved embarrassed by my presence and couldn’t wait for me to leave.

Then, as he’d found a new job, at his farewell gathering, I sat next to her, and my friend/PT didn’t introduce me to his new girlfriend even though all his other clients from the gym who were there seemed to know who she was. I’m still feeling bewildered and frustrated by this situation.

I’m not sure what he meant by what he said. I’m almost at a point where I want to send him a letter/long text asking for answers - should I?

Advice muchly appreciated.

« Last Edit: December 01, 2018, 05:40:37 AM by Donnao »

 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
3 Replies
127 Views
Last post December 12, 2018, 09:27:11 PM
by angeliacq
1 Replies
202 Views
Last post October 12, 2018, 09:29:15 AM
by missg
3 Replies
172 Views
Last post November 13, 2018, 07:58:02 PM
by Maria.Tortilla
1 Replies
33 Views
Last post December 12, 2018, 11:38:55 AM
by zasoma