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Author Topic: COnfused with the relationship

October 19, 2018, 03:45:51 PM
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googa


Last year I had a relationship with a girl for about 6 months. We both worked at the same office and she was on a 1yr project from abroad. At the time I was going through a tough time in my marriage i.e. it had broken down and me and my wife had agreed to file divorce. The girl had broken up from her boyfriend of 10 years just that year so we had lots to talk about, we got very close and had a relationship, more so emotional rather than sexual but we did sleep with each other on a couple of occasions. Anyways it was mostly that we connected at a very deep level emotionally. However all the time we were together she used to become distant from time to time and as at the time I wasn’t divorced yet (was separated) that was her reason for not being completely close to me + that she had feelings for her boyfriend. A mess I know.

Now she left the country and decided that she was going to get back with her boyfriend and get married so that was that and we disconnected completely. Couple of months she is back in the country and contacts me so I met her, she tells me she is not married yet but due to get married in 3 months time! Anyways we continue to meet and it was like last year all over and we got close again, got to know that her boyfriend doesn’t really call her (she seems depressed and everytime something goes wrong she calls me and I help her out). I know this was not going anywhere but I do love her which is why I see her.

Time to time she tells me things along the lines that she wishes she could marry me but she cant think of leaving her boyfriend. She is unable to get intimate with me i.e. she gets close and everything but wouldn’t sleep with me (she says she wants to but is uncomfortable and I can respect that as I don’t want to force her and do that to her boyfriend either). I know I am being a weak person for allowing all this and it came to a point that I confronted her yday and all she said is that she loves her boyfriend (she has said this to me too) and I was just a friend to her and someone who helped her out in emotional times. So we split yday in not a very nice fashion and maybe that’s fine, I feel quite awful now as feels like I was being played all along and I do know I let that happen so my fault but at the same time all that she said to me and things we shared cant be unreal either. Somewhere I know she has a good heart because we have shared very personal things with each other.

I just need  make some sense of this as I am hurting a bit right now. I am okay if you want to bash me for my weak behaviour as well but I need some perspective. Thanks.

October 19, 2018, 04:23:47 PM
Reply #1

missg


Last year I had a relationship with a girl for about 6 months. We both worked at the same office and she was on a 1yr project from abroad. At the time I was going through a tough time in my marriage i.e. it had broken down and me and my wife had agreed to file divorce. The girl had broken up from her boyfriend of 10 years just that year so we had lots to talk about, we got very close and had a relationship, more so emotional rather than sexual but we did sleep with each other on a couple of occasions. Anyways it was mostly that we connected at a very deep level emotionally. However all the time we were together she used to become distant from time to time and as at the time I wasn’t divorced yet (was separated) that was her reason for not being completely close to me + that she had feelings for her boyfriend. A mess I know.

Now she left the country and decided that she was going to get back with her boyfriend and get married so that was that and we disconnected completely. Couple of months she is back in the country and contacts me so I met her, she tells me she is not married yet but due to get married in 3 months time! Anyways we continue to meet and it was like last year all over and we got close again, got to know that her boyfriend doesn’t really call her (she seems depressed and everytime something goes wrong she calls me and I help her out). I know this was not going anywhere but I do love her which is why I see her.

Time to time she tells me things along the lines that she wishes she could marry me but she cant think of leaving her boyfriend. She is unable to get intimate with me i.e. she gets close and everything but wouldn’t sleep with me (she says she wants to but is uncomfortable and I can respect that as I don’t want to force her and do that to her boyfriend either). I know I am being a weak person for allowing all this and it came to a point that I confronted her yday and all she said is that she loves her boyfriend (she has said this to me too) and I was just a friend to her and someone who helped her out in emotional times. So we split yday in not a very nice fashion and maybe that’s fine, I feel quite awful now as feels like I was being played all along and I do know I let that happen so my fault but at the same time all that she said to me and things we shared cant be unreal either. Somewhere I know she has a good heart because we have shared very personal things with each other.

I just need  make some sense of this as I am hurting a bit right now. I am okay if you want to bash me for my weak behaviour as well but I need some perspective. Thanks.

its a difficult one especially as she's about to get married but more importantly, because she lives so far away.

i find it very disrespectful though that she's still willing to meet up with you and get intimate even though she's planning to get married, she's basically cheating on her partner w/o him now (sorta).

how do you feel about that?

maybe she does genuinely like you and if she lived closer then things would be different but is that going to change? probably not.

i'd stay away from her as you're just going to get her, and nothing may come out of this  :(

just my opinion @googa  x

November 13, 2018, 07:11:06 AM
Reply #2

StaceyBoyle


Hey, it is very difficult to get over the pain and depression of separation. My friend was in a long distance relationship with a girl from the last 4 years. He was very confused about the love life and someone advised him to take more info from psychic experts. You can also try such counseling and get a clear vision to take the right decisions.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2018, 09:49:36 AM by Staff »

November 13, 2018, 07:58:02 PM
Reply #3

Maria.Tortilla


To be honest, she doesn't seem to be a genuine person. I think she was trying to lead you on, because she wanted a friend, and someone to complain to. I also think she is not being genuine to her fiancee.

Be honest, if YOUR fiancee had a male friend and was talking about you in this way, she talks about her fiancee...
Would you feel betrayed and cheated?

Just be glad its not you. Be glad shes not treating you the same way she is treating her fiance!

 

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