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Author Topic: Advice about my Girlfriend/ Ex

January 17, 2020, 07:35:21 AM
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Hey everyone,

I need a bit of advice about my current girlfriend. We have been dating just over 4 years now. Like any relationship we have our ups and downs. My partner is 9 years younger than me. I dont consider myself a paranoid person but I recently came across an SD card which was full and I mean full of photos of her and her ex (who I know was quite an abusive person).

I know its normal for people to still have a few photos of their exs but this SD card was full of folders of pictures which personally I find a bit troubling.

I have had issues in the past with trusting her as I quite often get a strong gut feeling she is being or has been unfaithfull. In the past she would often refer to her ex, which used to get under my skin alot. Recently her behaviour has changed alot in terms of staying quite late at work and going to the pub with friends from work and I hate to say it but our sex life is almost non existent, maybe 1 or 2 times a month. She also occasionally makes references to some men at her work.

Is this all in my head or do you think there is a cause for concern?

Any advice is greatly appreciated

January 17, 2020, 10:06:44 AM
Reply #1


Hey. It is completely normal to have pictures f your ex. you are being paranoid

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January 17, 2020, 10:12:28 AM
Reply #2


I think talk to her and tell her how you feel. Perhaps flag up to her what’s changed recently in the relationship.

None of what you mentioned above is even close to proof of her being unfaithful. But obviously, there is *some* issue and you are going through a ‘down’ point of the relationship. You need to talk about it together to figure out what the issue is and how to fix it.

I think try and examine why you don’t trust her. Is it because of her past behaviour or is it because of trust issues that you have… or maybe a bit of both? 

Mentioning men at work occasionally is normal; referring to her ex is normal; keeping photos, even a lot of them is normal … although have you told her it bothers you? Perhaps she doesn’t even realise it gets under your skin.

January 17, 2020, 12:55:08 PM
Reply #3


Thanks for the advice, there seems to be alot of random accounts on here touting for business which is a bit annoying but thanks for your reply.

Ive often thought im being paranoid and I know my girlfriend loves me as she tells me alot but I seem to have this gut sensation. I think it stems from her being 9 years younger rhan me. But in all honesty I generally have a good intuition about people and so this isnt something I can seem to shake off. Mayne im reading too much into honest things I dont know.

I thought it would change when we moved in but it hasnt. Maybe it is me but because ive never had a serious relationship like this before I cant comment on the ex pictures thing.


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